There is a place that one must go to to find silence, or just to get away from everything for a while. And you need the quiet to think, or to take a breath. You need to do it with people who are like you, who understand you, whom you belong to.
I think my biggest takeaway from this experience is realizing that I am already loved. I've been unconsciously searching for it throughout most of my early adult life and it has contradicted with my other needs such as having a career, an individual journey, or a personal autonomy.
It's an interesting thing, love. I often associated it with some form of ownership and attachment. These days (or ever since I got here) it has revealed itself by having people behind my back ready to breathe out wind behind my wings during times when I would rather fall back. They're not exactly there to provide intimacy, but it might be sort of the universe's way of telling me that it'll give me the tools and conditions I need now in order to move towards the path that is laid out for me.
What I asked for mostly was silence. Often my heart and mind get clouded with thoughts and feelings so much so that I cannot see or hear what my soul is telling me. I've read that there are omens and signs that come to you and you only have to listen to be able to see them. And for the past two months I'm afraid I have been unable to see them because my mind and heart were in a dark cloud. As it slowly clears up I want to be able to follow the signs more obediently.
I am a Filipino actress alternating between New York and Manila. I received my acting training at The Juilliard School. Take a look around!