It is hardly spring in New York City (it was about 18F this weekend) but it's been a good winter for me so far as compared to my first two winters. Miraculously, I find myself hardly depressed and more calm and patient with how things are going. We are currently busy preparing for our upcoming show, "Cabaret: A Musical Revue." Cabaret is an annual musical show that the third years put up as a culmination of singing classes that have begun in the second year of training. We will share our work at the Harold and Mimi Steinberg Drama Studio, which was the same place we shared our work in Top Girls and Queens Boulevard last semester.
I have prayed for a quiet life for a long time especially in the height of my bed bug stress (that has been such a memorable time in my journey - I am amused that I still keep mentioning it), and even towards the end of the first semester of my third year of training (when I was doing three roles with three dialects again for Queens Boulevard). Now that I have it I am still "working" towards trusting it. A quiet and calm life is unfamiliar territory for me. I am more used to drama, stress, anxiety - or something going wrong. I have been more investigative and curious about other possible ways of living, and have been wanting to move specifically towards more lightness.
Over the past winter break, someone whose wisdom I seek every now and then has advised me to trust the flow of my life. I don't have to work too hard, she said. What I do need to do is to be present, to listen, to hear, to stay open. The flow of my life at present is very mild, quite smooth and calm. There is a part of me that has become impatient lately as there are a few things in my personal life that I want to start going but hasn't yet. When I get those feelings again I remind myself to be patient. There may be some things I want that are not available yet but there are many things that ARE in place. And I am taking the time to slow down and acknowledge them.
Cabaret photos to follow!
I am a Filipino actress alternating between New York and Manila. I received my acting training at The Juilliard School. Take a look around!